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the good, the bad, and the usual....

todays rant will, as may be understood from the title be divided into 3 parts, regarding respectively the good things, the bad things, and the absolute fabulously mundane, everyday stuff that concerns nobody but me and my....

in the usual today we visit a man who has just deleted large parts of this rather big web-site, because he no longer had even an inkling of a clue as to what was in them. there are now fewer categories, although i'm seriously considering adding a section in which to blabber on about the state of the danish internet.... the serious lack of commitment from retailers and business alike, the way discount pricing by agencies such as my own, ruins the business by resulting in largely low-quality shite-sites, and thereby not waking clients up the smell of the roses (or the napalm depending).... in short, good sites, require visionary people, and a quality production cycle, which in turn costs money.... well, maybe that will arise :-) or maybe it will show up on the Icon Medialab web site instead. hmmm... good idea that, maybe we should do that.

in more of the usual is my never ending ability to be dissatisfied etc. to bitch about details in a life that has to rank somewhere in the upper extremes of world wide quality of life. just notice at least that a few menu items have dissapeared, making this page simply a series of rants, with various links to various stuff. The main sections apart from the actual rants, are the guestbook, and the search engine.....

next move is to reorganize the rants, in effect adding a "next" link to those previous links already found at the top of each page.... that should make it easier for late-comers

---

the good consists solely of a quick week-end recap.....

friday night was arrival night of my good friends Nicola and Paul, from London... well Nicola is a kiwi, but currently lives in westcliffe-on-sea, which in a stretch of the imagination could be included in a vaguely londonesque area....

both flew in for the week-end to spend time with me, and to be part of my little saturday night party at Cafeen Funke. now that was a 2*25 year birthday, in which the 25 years where mine, and the other 25, where Kim's. hugely succesful party, about 120 guests at the height of the evening, a whole field of presents, including 2 wooden 5 foot plus flagpoles, complete with wooden danish flags, and about 4 sq. feet of turf. pictures will arrive at some point.

in short a great evening, with me in the center of attention, where i so enjoy being, and nothing but a great time.

i could tell you slander until dawn, but if you want that, you'll just have to mail me, or call me :-) I got a lot of presents, including the following, which is a short list of the most memorable items:

• 1 large wooden flagpole and flag, including turf
• 1 michael jordan deodorant
• 1 azzuro chrome dodorant and eau de toilette
• 1 pair of cat workpants
• 1 pair of tight fitting bokser shorts :-)
• tulips
• chewing gum
• paul austers: "Mr. Vertigo"
• Easter eggs
• 1 pro dart board, arrows, flights and extra shafts
• 1 larry bird vs. mj plastic figure, basketball game
• copious bottles of wine
• copious kisses on the cheek
• 1 very geeky solar powered calculator with mechanical swivel tilt screen
• 1 u2 greatest hits album
• 1 ugly white hat
• 1 alaskan survival kit, including keychain thermometer, compass, blister resister kit, and a steel thermos
• 1 basket of japanese foodstuff, including mushrooms, noodles, ginseng power drink, ginger, and various items i am absolutely clueless about
• 1 gift certificate for a cd

various other items, the use of which i have either forgotten or couldn't figure out in the first place

in short GREAT NIGHT, NICE PARTY, GOOD TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

---

the bad for obvious reasons is worse than the good and the usual combined:

it concerns work, my work, and stress.

lately work has been overwhelming.

i've never put this much of myself into a job before. given so much of myself over to ensuring that i do well, partly because i really believe in the company, and partly because i am where i am in life. i want to suceed at this project management job, because i want to prove to myself that i am capable.

lately i have been in doubt. when you feel you are giving what you have, and taking all the problems home with you, when there is nothing at home to take your mind of the job, and when you still don't feel you're doing an adequate job, that's when it starts getting tough.

i'm stressed out, trying to keep 2 projects on-line for delivery, trying to add my knowledge and skills the whatever other projects need them, and trying to be a driving force in new developments here at the office, has me beaten. i just can't handle it, it's that easy

or at least it was, last week and yesterday. i'd had it, with stress, with the pain of always being behind, no matter how many hours i put into it, of feeling i was doing something wrong, by not working week-ends....

now i feel a little better, or at least i feel like i should give it some time, try myself a little more, before i call it quits, although being without financial or for that matter titulatory, or staus ambitions, sometimes it can be hard to convince myself that this kind of stressful bullcrap is the right thing :-)

 

well enough shananigans for now. suffice it to say that some days feel like hell, and some like i'm part of the new millenium in its shaping. poetic bull, yes, true, yes, nice, somehow i doubt it

but at the very least it won't kill me for a while yet, so why the hell not

see you all around

 

Tomas

 

 

currently reading:

Various Authors:
"Wired Magazine, March 1999"