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Today was weird
As I told you guys yesterday, it was my first day back at work after arthroscopic surgery to the knee. It didn't go all that well. My knee started swelling and aching, forcing me home. It's a pain relying on my computer for an income as well as for this site, and being able to walk, and move about, but not to sit with my knee bent....
For that reason, today has been another day at home. al though a quick walk to the supermarket and picked up WIRED magazine on the way.....
One of the down days, filled again with speculation, a general feeling of misery stemming from non-achievement and general apathy. Then I talked to my great friend Pernille, and that does indeed lift spirits. So big a part of this recurring misery, feeling lost and general apathy, must be loneliness.
I guess I'm just better of with people. Someone to talk to... to pester with my ideas, none of which incidentally ever amount to anything, for when it comes to execution I'm invariably alone again, and apathy just doesn't strike that entrepreneurial spirit!
Well, company, I guess is the essence here, the need to be with someone. Sometimes it traps me. The people I know, that surround me, have a preconceived view of who I am, and what I do, and their truly is no way out of those roles for me.
Such is the essence of a social sphere, and such is f.ex. the essence of alchohol in my culture.
That I guess is the essence of why travelling means so much to me.... It is a great way to meet people. An act I find disturbingly difficult here, in this world and this life in Denmark. But something which seems so much simpler on the road..... Or is it that most new people I meet in my normal surroundings strike me as incredibly boring, while most everyone I've bumped into on the road, seems to have something in common and by extension is an interesting person. Is it that in order to don your backpack, and travel in that way and those places, one has to be a bit strange, a mis-fit, not quite content at home, not quite willing to give in, become a part of the great machine that is society, without at least a kick and a struggle?
I can know nothing except, it seems that a sense of not belonging, reminiscent of loneliness seems to be part of my life.... That and the winds of course...
I love you all, my fiends and friends to come, may there be a lot of you in my life....