eventful holiday season....
had a stressful period at work, right before christmas. they seem to show up quite regularly every 2-3 months. i do think i'm getting better at handling them. there's a long way to go, but i'm definitely learning to quit a little quicker.
however, in all honesty, i can say, it's been a good holiday season. family visited from austria, especially enjoy seeing my brither miki his wife nanete and their two girls, lisa and amanda. i really love those two sweethearts, their half brazilian ancestry, their portuguese, german smattering, and the fact that i am their favourite uncle.
hanging out with friends, with signe, and with the family, taking long-needed time off from overwork, relaxing and partying. the closest thing i can come to describing it, is that it was needed. i was getting to that edge, wearing myself down, reaching (again) the point where there seems to be so much to do, that the clarity to actually do anything fails me.
it's a nasty place that, cause there's only one way out of it, and that means reneging on work you should be doing.sometimes i wonder wether it's worth it all. i mean, i'm not killing myself with work, not denying myself time off, but i'm pushing pretty hard, and for what?
i'm not sure actually, i know it's not the money, because while i'm being paid a f....ing fortune by my own standards, it's not enough to make me rich by any means.... and it's been a large number of years since i actually bought into any of the money makes life good bullshit.why then? when push comes to shove, i like living the way i do, not worrying about financials, spending madly, i like it precisely because i know myself well enough that there is no guarantee it will always be like that.
[Coitus Interruptus]anyway, every week i am learning new things about business, about technical internet related issues, about myself, about customer relationsships etc. i'm learning faster than i ever did at university, and being paid good money. i get loads of challenges, and more importantly i get to define my own work.....
quote of the[insert arbitrary period of time here]:
Francis Bacon:
"For a crowd is not company;
and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love."
currently reading:
Neal
Stephenson :
"cryptonomicon"